The Morning After

You know the story. Noah planted a vineyard, got drunk, took off his clothes then passed smooth out in the middle of the tent. Ham apparently walked in on him and thought it was funny enough to call his brothers in to share the spectacle. The next morning, Noah curses Ham…and this is where the preacher or other story teller goes off on… “Bad Ham…” and “Bad Noah…” and “Preach on the Devil Alcohol…!”

Enough already! The Word weeps over the human experience it wants us to understand, but we’re too damn busy looking for people to stone for their sins to listen.

First of all, no one takes note that Noah’s sons were there that day. They were grown and married before they got on the ark in the first place. How much time could they waste before they started building their own families, and taking advantage of all that empty land? I mean sure, they probably got together often, several times a year I imagine, but each time they did it was bound to be a full blown occasion.

Here’s the part we need to get: The night in question was years after the flood.

So let’s rewind a little bit, and go back to the day Noah finally ripped the cover off the floating barn he’d been living in for the past year, and I’ll tell what I think led up to Noah’s embarrassment. Just remember, before we start judging Noah and branding him as a drunk, we ought'a consider the difference between Ham's response to God's grace.

And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. The fear of you and the terror of you will be on every beast of the earth and on every bird of the sky; with everything that creeps on the ground, and all the fish of the sea, into your hand they are given. Every moving thing that is alive shall be food for you; I give all to you, as I gave the green plant."                                     Genesis 9:1-3 (NASB)

Noah and his kin went back to Ur, probably skirting the west bank of the Euphrates, and I’m betting they took extra care of the twelve bovines, twelve sheep and twelve goats they already had, and collected the choicest grapevine roots as they went. The grapevines were there for the taking all along that stretch of abandoned orchards, vineyards, and washed out villages between the mountains of Ararat to the north and Noah’s ancestral home, near or perhaps even on the future site of Ur, at the confluence of the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers far to the south.

When he got there, and this is weird, he went straight back to farming…but wait a minute. Wasn’t Noah the one who was supposed to give the tribes of Adam rest from the curse of the land?

That’s why he had a cartload of healthy grapevine roots behind the pair of oxen God told him to save.

Grapes aren’t like grain crops. Grain crops take about nine months or less to produce. Vineyards take years before they bear usable fruit, but once established the yields and the profits can be enormous, especially if you’re apparently the first one in your area to produce wine.

The upshot is that Noah was pretty well settled in when he and the whole family, grandchildren included, got together to celebrate a (their first?) successful vintage. A regular family reunion -- ahem  -- a holy day solemnly dedicated to …Naaah… There was a party. Those things can go on for days, especially when you consider what they were celebrating.

So…yeah…Noah overdid it and ended up flat on his back and naked, but like I said, it was a family reunion. Everything would have been fine if Ham had just tucked his father in for the night and forgotten about the whole thing.

I mean, Damn man! Be cool with each other. Especially when it comes to your parents.

But Cain’s drunk ass thought it was funny, and he just had to make sure everyone (the entire world, it turns out) knew about it.

Ham’s brothers Shem and Japheth on the other hand, had the presence of mind to salvage their father’s dignity. They did their best to not even look as they tucked their father in for the night.

Of course, Noah found out and for the first time in the Bible the father bestows blessings and, when called for, curses on his children, and appoints his successor as patriarch and seed bearer, in this case Shem.

So he [Noah] said,

"Cursed be Canaan;

A servant of servants

He shall be to his brothers."

He also said, 

"Blessed be the Lord,

the God of Shem;

And let Canaan be his servant.

"May God enlarge Japheth,

And let him dwell in the tents of Shem;

And let Canaan be his servant."

Genesis 9:25-28
(NASB)

What Ham had done was so reprehensible that his father didn't even bother cursing him. He cursed Ham's son, Canaan and the tribes that would descend from him.
Funny thing about the blessings and curses in the Bible; they often foreshadow events hundreds of years later, because the Canaanites would dominate the area around the Jordan river centuries later when Moses lead the Israelites to, but not into, the Promised Land.

Next Time: The Kingdoms and Nations of Japheth and Ham

Peace Out Y'all